When The Pain Wakes You And Sleep Won't Return

The pain wakes you at 2 am. You shift, you wait, and your mind starts running. The clock keeps moving, and sleep feels miles away.

Those nights are hard. You can't always stop from waking up. But you can give your body a few gentle ways to settle back down. Here are some you can try without getting out of bed.

Four ways to breathe

Slow breathing sends your body a signal that it is safe to rest. It also gives your busy mind something to focus on instead of your to-do list. Try one and see which feels best.

• Cyclic sighing. This one is quick to learn, and it has the most research behind it. Breathe in through your nose, then take a second, shorter sip of air through your nose on top of the first. Now let it out through your mouth in one long, slow sigh. Make the exhale longer than the both inhales. Do a few in a row, or keep going for a couple of minutes. Even one or two can take the edge off.

• The four-count breath. This is the most straightforward technique. Breathe in slowly for four counts. Exhale for four counts. No holding, just an even in and out. Keep going, keeping a steady count and you may start to feel a bit more relaxed.

• The 4-7-8 breath. This one has a long, slow exhale that helps your body wind down. Breathe in through your nose for four counts. Hold for seven. Let it out through your mouth for eight counts, slowly. If the hold feels too long, make it shorter. This is not a test, so stop if you ever feel lightheaded.

• Box breathing. Picture a square with four equal sides. Breathe in slowly for four counts - as if you're tracing up the left side of the square. Hold for four - tracing across the top. Let the breath out for four - tracing down the right side. Hold again for four - tracing across the bottom. Then start over. Four or five rounds is plenty. This technique is often attributed to Navy SEALS, who use it to lower their heart rate and reduce their anxiety.

Let your body go loose

Once your breath has slowed, walk through your body and let each part relax. Some people call this progressive relaxation. It sounds fancy. It is really just letting go, one piece at a time.

Start at your feet and let them go heavy and soft. Move up to your calves, then your thighs, then your belly. Let your hands rest open. Soften your arms, your shoulders, your jaw. As each part lets go, the rest of you tends to follow.

You may have heard a version where you tighten each muscle first, then release it. That can work too. But skip it if you just had surgery, and skip anything that hurts.

Let an app do the guiding

Some nights, a self-guided technique just doesn't do the trick - especially if your mind is racing and your anxiety is high. That is what meditation apps are for. They offer short guided sessions for breathing, letting go, and drifting off. Just press play and follow along.

Four worth a look:

• Insight Timer. Known for a huge free library, with plenty of sleep and relaxation sessions. A good place to start if you want something for free.

• Headspace. Built around simple, step-by-step lessons. Great if you are brand new to mindfulness and want a little structure.

• Calm. Best known for sleep. Their sleep stories are made to help you drift off, not stay awake.

• Balance. The app learns what you like and shifts to fit you. Free to try, so it's easy to test.

Free plans and prices change, so check before you commit. And don't overthink your choice. The best app is the one you actually open.

On the hard nights

None of this makes the pain vanish or promises a perfect night. What it does is give you something to reach for while you are lying there awake, instead of just watching the ceiling. Pick one and keep it simple. Be patient with yourself on the rough nights.